It takes a surgery to get me back to my blog. Actually, it takes Twitter to do it! As I face a day of preparation, and then a day of surgery, and then some days of recovery, I am filled with awe. Mainly, I am awed at the power I have to decide how I feel about the upcoming days. If I allow it, then I experience fear. My hands shake and my body trembles with the prospects of what “could” go wrong.
And equally as easy, I can remain calm and secure, knowing that I am on my path and can handle anything ahead of me.
In acting classes, I was taught “getting ready to get ready.” We had exercises to get us ready to act. These rituals and routines prepared us by honing us to the task; they focused us and created purpose for our next moves. But we also had exercises that helped us get ready to get ready. These practices emptied us of expectation, cleared our desire for a particular outcome, and brought us to a moment where anything could happen.
I know now that what we were doing was entering Sacred Space: the realm of miracles. I find that in the last few months, I have been entering into this partnership with myself, letting go of expectations. And why do I need to let go of expectations? Because I have been programmed from birth to fear and expect the worse. I am not alone. I believe that the product of our modern society creates just that. We have news that tells of tragedy in every corner of the globe, tragedies that hit close to home and predictions of worse to come. We live with scarcity, we live with fear.
How can we expect to create miracles that have anything to do with happiness, if we have not cleared ourselves of this fear first? We must get ready to get ready! And so I have created opportunities of accepting that the horror stories about my surgery are not what will happen to me. Things could go any way possible, but I will not write history before it happens!
And so, in getting to get ready, I have emptied the expectations that came naturally to me. And then, once I felt the vacuum space of having no expectations, I allowed the space of positive outcome to grow. I started seeing stories of speedy recovery on the internet, now, where I had only seen pain and agony. The world reshaped around my differing expectations. As I left getting ready to get ready, and moved into getting ready, I found myself able to vision a path of ease for myself.
In fact, I stopped fighting destiny. I stopped holding on to the idea that I could not avoid an unpleasant outcome. And by letting go, creating void, entering Sacred Space, and visioning Peace, I find that I actually think less about the surgery at all! Oh sure, it creeps in. But the monster is easier to put back on its leash.
What will be, will be. Worrying about it now only puts me in distress now! If I encounter pain along the way, then I hope to only experience it when it is there; I don’t need to feel it’s grip now!
So I create the void. I experience this moment. I live in Sacred Space. And I will sleep well tonight.